Lessons in Adversity and Humility from Mary Verdon

I was a co-participant in a teacher-student challenge during my residency in which a gifted teacher (Mary Verdon) asked me to participate in a mini triathlon (called a "sprint"). I was 20-something and she was about 40, and beat the socks off me (not literally). Her mother had had a very minor event categorized then as a stroke in her late forties or early fifties, which was for unknown reasons, but I of course wasn't aware of it.

We often swam with the same pair of fast-swimming guys at the Y early in the mornings. One day I came to work to hear she'd been behind them about a lap and as they came back they saw her thrashing near the bottom of the relatively shallow lane. It was determined to be a stroke, and the community hospital (1997 or so) had just implemented a stroke protocol. Miraculously she was left-brain (rationally and intellectually) completely intact. Thus, she was in on the decision to get tPA (tissue plasminogen activase which was an early clot buster still in use now) but had such a large stroke that she developed cerebral edema (brain swelling). After weighing uptons she ended up deciding with her husband not to go for neurosurgery, not wishing to live with the very likely major compromises to her (obviously) active lifestyle.

That event really affected me and I knew she was proud of defeating me in the triathlon. I sheepishly avoided coming to her bedside (giving her privacy and dignity I thought) assuming her pride would be hurt to be seen that way. She was the sort to really try and help us less-humble sorts (I admit it) to get away from all that by being taken down a notch in a very good-humored way. I think I was very afraid of how humbling such an event could be and identified with her intellect, health, and youth too much to maturely handle it. I think it was self-preservation. My awareness of this developed too little too late to be there as a support, but I believe the lesson I learned was a good one. I now try hard to face death and dying issues very head-on, and talk about the feelings. I will readily admit (when appropriate even to the suffering person) that childish parts of me want to get away from the trauma, but that it meets my greater needs, to help out and overcome adversity, to be in the midst of it.

(C) 2008 Christoph A. Sahar

Winter Coming

Leaves drop, grasses brown, skins dry, birds fly,
Snows swirl, winds howl, lights fade, temps down;
Plants droop, skies grey, minds numb, coats fray,
Fires warm, friends come, patterns race, hopes churn.

Colors run, fades the sun, shadows lurk, greys murk,
Noses sting, sleighbells ring, voices sing, newborn king;
Shovelers earn, Yules burn, fields turn, souls yearn,
Sun's flight, lengthy night, nature's might, sleep tight.




(C) Christoph Sahar

Thanksgiving Joke (NOT!)

Nicole sent me out shopping at Wegmans to get a large bag of Purina for our Viszla "Rusty" and Beagle "Biscuit" and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

Misunderstandings - life altering ideas - nonviolent communication

We all get misunderstood. But do the poeople misunderstanding us always know we're misunderstood? And can it be put to right?

"Forgive them, for they know not what they do..." is also know as "famous last words."

Conflict resolution, both personal and professional, requires perceptions to be understood, and when necessary, corrected.

We all play a game of "Who's Right?" but the world needs more "How can we make life more wonderful."

Read Marshall D. Rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication" for further details that have been life-altering for me.

This work

This work is harsh, repetitive, noisy, tiring, aching, turning, cold, windy, muddy, beautiful, natural, groundbreaking, connecting, bright, exacting, tight, stretching, pounding, numbing, unending, and unfinished.

Ram the pole into the soft, muddy ground, pull up a chair, climb it, and then with the four pound Thor-like hammer, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, switch to the left for ten more taps, then right for ten more taps, then drop the hammer onto the chair where its red and black handle slips between the curved iron chair--back poles, and then take the leaning sledge up, sledging bam bam bam bam bam on the right, then bam bam bam bam bam on the left, then five more on the right, then five more on the left, and the post is in the ground up to the green splaying wings.

As the arms ache, I pace four paces with the sledge, mark the ground, go back for the chair, small hammer, and cart, which now only holds twenty-four more posts, and drag it into the new position, where I lift a six foot green post out of it, and,

ram the pole into the soft, muddy ground again.

This for a total of twenty five posts.

Then, bring the orange heavy snow fence roll and cable-tie it up to the first post, unroll some more, stretching and yanking and pulling until the top of the plastic fence is taught between the first two posts, then hook the fence onto the top spoke jutting from the post, and so on down to the bottom, keeping tension so the wintery winds cannot push it down or carry it off. Then three cable ties with numbing fingers and aching arms, and then,

bring the orange heavy snow fence roll to the next post and repeat a

total of twenty five posts down the line. Only not enough snow fence remains because I spread the fence longer this year than last. Oh, and Lowes, Lawn & Tractor Supply, and Walmart have none.

The snow comes. But not yet. It is coming soon, however. The snow whips the bedroom with howling noises at times, all night long, pulling loose the plastic siding if not secured well.

The wind bites and robs of heat the very heat which keeps us alive.

The wind picks things up.

Last winter it took an eight foot glass lawn table and carried it fifty feet, to be deposited with a crash splintering the table into thousands of sharp bits, only to be discovered when bloody paw prints were left on the tile floor in the spring.

What a mystery, bloody paw prints were. Oh, we found glass and the dogs didn't suffer... we just had to figure out where the glass came from. Lo, and behold the glass lawn table shattered to bits fifty feet from where it had been. Oh, that's right! We DID have a glass lawn table! How strange it got to the other side of the yard!

The wind should be harvested, but that may be too expensive to contemplate.

Something to think about.

Pax et amor;
Xtoph

Exercise in futility

Work piles up, you work it down, then it piles up again.

One thing doesn't pile up, and that's appreciation for work well done.

Today, employees told me they had something to look forward to when they came to work... me! can you imagine?

We have to give them something less ephemeral than my wit and wisdom to look forward to, but morale has improved even among those who say their pay is "a slap in the face". At least something is going right for them...

I'll stop rambling now.

Oh, and anyone who knows anyone from Scholastic should tell them I know a really good writer/creative type/managing editor who really hates writing about guns.

P & A;
xtoph

Oh geez, another resurrection story

This blog will be resurrected as a thanks to Obama.

The prophet has spoken.

All hail Obama.

Patient: "I Hate Borderline Personality Disorder - That's me to a tee!"

"Doctor, I am so done with BPD. I hate Borderline Personality Disorder. It makes me really angry. I've been reading all about it on the internet and I just can't stand it. Of course, aside from promiscuity and substance abuse, I am so certifiably borderline myself."

- said the patient to me today. Did I mention she was kicked out of her partial hospitalization program, and wants to get back into it again... and that she stopped the one med that helps distorted thoughts?

Does anybody else get reminded of the absurdist humor in The Onion?

Phew, what a day. And that was only one of my 22 patients from 8-5:20 without a break.

Pax et amor;
xtoph

A Y-switch that train enthusiasts don't see too often!

Yes folks, it is a real image from a real train track and it shows the wye-switch (named for the letter) division into two lines from one line, in a rack railway to the highest point in Germany, called die Zugspitze, which we visited in Germany September the 21st, 2007. Note that here, the teeth of the Strub rack are free, pointing upward, which allows the switch without difficulty.

Below, see how in the station, where passengers have to be able to cross tracks on the platform, the older, Riggenbach rack system is used.